Category: Taijiquan

Narrative vs. Authenticity in a Post-Truth world

Posted on By Appledog

Low Level reports, “something is REALLY wrong with bug bounty“. What’s going on, is that people are using AI to find bugs in software and submitting them to “bug bounty” websites operated by computer security researchers. The problem is that the AI is hallucinating code and calls to subroutines, and the bugs don’t actually exist. This is becoming a huge problem as more false reports are now being submitted than real reports, and human beings have to go and check just to make sure the bugs are real in the first place.

  • Narrative: 1. a description of events

As it turns out, I’ve noticed this problem since late 2024 has started to affect online communities that I frequent, such as martial arts discussion boards on the internet.

  • Narrative: 2. the part of a novel that tells the story, rather than the dialogue

The thing is, just like with fake bug bounties trying to get money for nothing, a lot of people (people who should know better) are using AI to talk about martial arts in order to gain social standing by appearing more knowledgeable than they really are. They are trying to tell a story but the dialogue is strangely wrong.

The reason I am able to tell is because I have what is called authenticity. The reason I have authenticity is because I have been actually involved in Tai Chi and Chinese martial arts for a very long time. So it strikes me as very odd when someone makes a truth claim about Tai Chi or Kung Fu, which I know to be clearly wrong. Often times, I can “understand” the misunderstanding that led to the false conclusion. It inevitably demonstrates that the person doesn’t know what they are talking about, but that they are doing a very good job of trying to appear knowledgeable — and will appear knowledgeable, to anyone without extensive experience.

Don’t believe me?

Soon, people will be posting AI fakes of themselves doing Kungfu, and you will not be able to trust that the video is authentic.

You should be aware that right now, today, you can no longer trust anything you see online. The only way to know what is true and authentic, will be to go back to the tradition, back to the lineage, and ask someone like me to teach you. There is no alternative. Why me? It doesn’t have to be me, just anyone with authentic lineage.

Unfortunately, want it or not, those who have lineage are now forced to become gatekeepers and there is absolutely nothing anyone can do about it. In the past people would accuse others of gatekeeping as a kind of insult. Yet that is how it has to be from now on. If you don’t like it, it doesn’t matter. You are either in or out, and the only way to get in is via the door. Only the teacher can show you the door. No Guru devotion, no enlightenment. Period.

  • Narrative: 3. a way of explaining events to illustrate a set of aims or values

Often times, a term which is infrequently used will pop up in a discussion and then suddenly people will begin using the term casually in their posts, or engaging in long, pointless academic discussions making reference to the word. Often using the term in ways it was never intended to be used. The whole thing is a bit weird, but makes sense once you speculate that these people are using AI to analyze threads and try to come up with a credible sounding response. Why? For social standing, of course. Because they want people to think they are better than you. Because they want to attack and demean people with real knowledge, so that they don’t get discredited by the truth. This is an extremely low level of Wu De. Their morals, their values, do not exist.

Just Be Authentic?

  • Authenticity: the quality of being true or what somebody claims it is

There’s just one problem with being authentic. How do YOU know whether or not what I am saying is true versus what anyone else out there says is true? If you are new to the world of martial arts (or whatever subject is under discussion) you could easily be fooled by a liar trying to misrepresent himself using ChatGPT. Why should you listen to me? What makes me an authority?

The solution, the only way to fight this problem, is to not fight it at all.

One, the stage has to be changed. The idea that I or anyone is going to be able to “fix” or “correct” this problem is a non-starter. The people doing this have a vested interest in spamming the internet and there is no real way to stop this. Even with a real-id system, the problem is not anonymous trolls, it’s people who are trying to build a reputation they do not deserve. What must exist, is a way to verify credibility. To have a well-established way of showing or checking someone’s credibility. Then, all someone would need to do is point out that someone has or does not have the credibility necessary to make whatever statements they’re making in the name of some long-dead master. In fact it wouldn’t even need to be pointed out, it could be attached to every post; like the poster belt rankings on Martialtalk, or the poster rankings on other forums (ex. wuji on rumsoakedfist).

Rank and Rating

The question then is how to get people to participate. Why don’t people participate in tournaments today? Well first, a lot of people, especially Tai Chi people, simply don’t consider themselves martial artists and the thought of competition never crosses their mind. These people have a false perception of what it is they are learning, but, that is okay. This is just drawing a demarcation line, and people can choose to stand on whichever side of it that they want. Critical mass will be the moment when that choice matters in terms of narrative and authenticity. When selling a book on Tai Chi depends less on production value and narrative and more on authenticity — that is the moment when this idea will be a success.

So just considering those who care about Tai Chi as a martial art, why don’t they compete?

A) No credibility to judge people (no recognized sports body) — No incentive to compete (results not recognized by the community).

B) Time issues of some kind. Onerous procedures. Out-of-the way of daily life.

C) Money issues of some kind (travel expenses, time off work, etc.)

A for example. How many Gold Medal Tai Chi champions do you think there are in China? The IWUF reported that in 2023, in the Zhejiang (provincial) International TCMA competition, the Beilun Martial Arts Association (one association, alone) won 48 gold medals. It also reports that at the 4th world taijiquan championships in 2024, eight gold medals were awarded. It is easy to see how hundreds if not thousands of gold medals are awarded in China every year. How many moreso in America? And even if less, the assumption is if you win a Chinese tournament it’s better, since Kungfu comes from China and the standards are higher (that’s not an assumption, it’s a justification for the initial assumption). Point being, a gold medal is worthless for establishing credibility. Medals are not what is needed. We need something more granular, more down to earth. Something more practical.

One solution is to make comparison (tournamenting) as easy as possible. Allow consensus reporting between two people. This is how the insei system works in Japan, and essentially how online chess ratings work (essentially, since there is a report system, so consensus is the default). Nothing wrong with adopting it here.

Finally, keeping things online when possible will remove some money issues such as needing to take time off work or to travel. Also, incentive can be created by paying people to participate (at least at the upper levels). My experience with tournaments in martial arts, chess and Go across Asia and America is that this is really the only way to establish credibility for a sports body.

Where is the money going to come from? Well this is the thing. Back to the beginning; narrative and authenticity.

The Golden Rule

He who has the gold makes the rules.

This is not a bad thing. It means that the people who make the rules are the people with skin in the game. That’s why paying people works so well to establish credibility; because on the flipside people assume that the money will be used to attract the most credible people possible. It wouldn’t make sense to hire people who don’t know Chess to participate in a Chess tournament. The money, at least to a degree, kicks-off the attraction of skilled people. Because otherwise the cheapness of participatoin is what enables misinformation to out-spam the truth. People will play a game of chicken and be as confident as possible about how great they are because the game they are playing is cheaper than your game. They will double down on it at every possible opportunity just because there is no cost for them to do so.

Put a cost on it, or demonstrate you have paid a cost, and it is already on it’s own a mark of credibility. Establish such a thing on an ongoing basis and suddenly you become the authenticity. Suddenly you control the narrative. This is how you chop off someone’s head in zen, ask them how much they would pay to get enlightened. The moment you have to put a cost on it, the fakers all start complaining. Those who are real rush at the opportunity to give you everything they have for the real gold. The real success.

The inside joke is that none of this is intended to be forced behavior. This is just the picture of a properly run and healthy community. The problem is our community today is not like this; it is run by people who have not suffered to achieve what they have, but have abused social media to gain followers, mostly for personal gain, without concern for the art.

Confucius writes,「富與貴，是人之所欲也；不以其道得之，不處也。貧與賤，是人之所惡也；不以其道得之，不去也。」

“Wealth and honor are what people desire. If they cannot be obtained in the proper way, do not dwell in them. Poverty and low status are what people dislike. If they cannot be avoided by proper means, do not escape them.”

Mencius comments, “The great man is he who does not lose his childlike heart and puts righteousness above material gain” (Mencius 6A:10)

Confucius also writes,「志士仁人，無求生以害仁，有殺身以成仁。」“The determined person and the man of virtue do not seek to live at the expense of ren (benevolence). They may even sacrifice their lives to preserve ren;” and 「賢哉，回也！一簞食，一瓢飲，在陋巷，人不堪其憂，回也不改其樂。」“How admirable was Yan Hui! Living on a basket of rice and a gourd of water in a shabby alley — others could not endure such hardship, but Hui never let go of his joy.”

Mencius comments,「富貴不能淫，貧賤不能移，威武不能屈，此之謂大丈夫。」“Wealth and honor cannot corrupt him, poverty and lowliness cannot make him waver, power and force cannot bend him — this is what it means to be a great man.”

What is the meaning here?

Emperor Wen wore simple clothing, reduced palace expenses, and refused the construction of an expensive tomb. He dealt with matters of state in person and was deeply involved in governing using the principles of Ren and Li. Regarding Ren and Yi (Kindness and Justice), he reduced taxes, lightened punishments, and released prisoners. He also avoided un-necessary wars, choosing instead diplomacy and restraint. He expanded Han control through trade and business. This was a time known as the Rule of Wen and Jing (Jing was his son), a golden age of peace and prosperity in the early Western Han, directly attributed to his moral leadership.

Zhu Xi writes in commentary,

“To use the art of war properly, one must first have virtuous leadership, for the soldiers will follow the general’s character.”
— Zhu Xi, Commentary on the “Art of War”

“To be a leader, one must first cultivate one’s virtue. If one does not cultivate one’s virtue, how can one lead others? A leader who has virtue will guide others with ease, for virtue leads to harmony.”
— Zhu Xi, Commentary on The Doctrine of the Mean

The Next Generation

TO create a new society, to teach the next generation, one must be of the previous generation. Outsiders cannot come in and make changes. How could they? They are from a different system, a different style. If you are not a part of the lineage, how can you continue the lineage?

Even those with the best of intentions must first accept the truth. Only by accepting the truth can one understand what must be done next. Or else it is like swimming in the dark.

I leave you with a parable.

Lord Ye and the Dragon

葉公好龍，為之雕牆，畫龍、繪龍於屋；堂前柱上，刻龍也。真龍知而下之，葉公見之，棄而走。

“Lord Ye loved dragons. He had dragons carved on his walls, painted on his screens, and embroidered in his curtains. When the real dragon in Heaven heard of this, it was moved and came down to visit. But when Lord Ye saw the real dragon, he panicked and ran away.” (From: New Anecdotes of the Talk of the World by Liu Xiang (劉向) during the Han dynasty.)

The Decreasing Relevance of Online Forums

Posted on By Appledog

When I first began reading and posting on rec.martial-arts in the early 1990s, I saw online forums as a way for martial artists to explore and make sense of Chinese martial arts paradigms, and to connect with like-minded people. I didn’t expect to encounter so many people disillusioned with kung fu itself and who had “moved on” to other things.

As Usenet faded, I moved to other forums: Empty Flower, the Yang Family Tai Chi forum, Kung Fu Magazine forum, and more recently, MartialTalk. Although, I spent the most time on Rumsoaked Fist. There is a lot of good information posted there. Also a lot of garbage. Mostly garbage, by people who are pretending. But in comparison to rec.martial-arts, it’s a goldmine. However by late 2024, things began to change. I couldn’t believe my own eyes, but it became clear to me that AI tools like ChatGPT were being used to fake expertise in arts like Tai Chi. For me this was the last straw.

Of course, there have always been people who pretended to be good at Tai Chi or who misrepresented their martial art as Tai Chi in order to make money. But in this new era, misinformation wa louder, more confident, and more often wrong. Unlike before when people were earnestly trying to understand Tai Chi, today’s voices declare how it works, often contradicting one another. I believe it represents a generational shift. Something fundamental has changed in the community.

Back in the ‘70s and ‘80s, the Kung Fu craze left many disappointed due to a lack of authentic training, which eventually led to the rise of MMA. Many of those disillusioned students became today’s kung-fu skeptics and Chi-deniers. But the Tai Chi generation that followed had its own failure—those who practiced Tai Chi without believing or understanding Chi. This opened the door to distorted theories and false lineages. Groups like Taoist Tai Chi and modern push hands competitors, who often practice something that’s not really Tai Chi at all, are the fruits of what happened, not the cause. I don’t blame them, I pity them.

Today, that confusion is deeper than ever. Fundamental misunderstandings like equating wu wei with passivity, or mistaking mental void for meditation are promoted as wisdom. And forums I once respected have become irrelevant, either inactive or filled with misinformation. Often, the loudest voices are from people practicing something else entirely. Usually someone claiming MMA, hard weight training, or some other valid practice like Reiki, Feldenkrais or Wim Hof trying to pass themselves off as a Tai Chi expert. That’s not to dismiss a other arts; it’s just that Yoga isn’t Tai Chi, and vice versa.

Yes, we all know “fighting matters.” But not every school trains the same way. And now, many who spent decades on a misguided path are realizing they’ve come up empty and they’re looking for someone to blame. The truth? They were told. I was told by my sifu. So why weren’t others? The painful answer is: they were. But they didn’t listen. And today, the people who didn’t listen are the new experts. I fear that this is the last generational mistake before the end. When today’s MMA and progressive weightlifting crowd realizes they’ve failed (give them another 5-10 years) there will be nowhere left for them to turn.

Ultimately, the failure arises out of a lack of Wu De. Wu De is not “being a good person”. It is the code underwriting the internal arts. This is why it is said that the civil must be together with the martial, and it is why it is said that one needs a high level of wu de to learn high level martial arts.

If you care about Tai Chi Kung Fu, and you recognize the importance of Wu De, you will need to study it in order to learn about it. The answer is found in the four books.

There are many sets of “four books”. One is commonly called the Tai Chi classics. I don’t mean that, although you must also read them to understand Tai Chi in general.

I also do not mean just the Tao Te Ching, I Ching, Huangdi Neijing, and Transmission of the Lamp (for which the Blue Cliff Record can substitute in a pinch). Those are excellent books which you must also read in order to get a grounding in the Chinese philosophy which underpins the internal arts. Many people will say that one or more of these books are “must-reads”. Well, sure, they all have great things you can learn which will help your Tai Chi. But they do not teach Wu De.

The four books you are missing, the ones which are really important, are the four books that define Wu De. I’m talking about the Four Books that begin with the Da Xue (Great Learning). This is not Wu De from a dry, critical academic standpoint. It is Wu De in practice, it is practical, and it will directly inform your training.

Taiji Ten Ten

Posted on By Appledog

Taiji Ten Ten

  1. The energy at the top of the head should be light and sensitive
  2. Sink the chest and raise the back
  3. Remains relax with no tensions
  4. Distinguish full from empty
  5. Sink the shoulders and drop the elbows
  6. Use the mind and not strength
  7. Unite the upper and lower body
  8. Unite internal and external
  9. Continuity without interruption
  10. Seek Stillness in movement

1. The head should be upright so the shen (spirit) can reach the headtop.
This is informed by the 8 channel exercise, esp. fire channel and water channel.

2. Sink the chest and pluck up the back.
This is informed by the 8 channel exercize, esp. lung channel.

3. Sung (relax) the waist.
This is informed by the 8 channel exercise, esp. dai channel.

4. Differentiate insubstantial and substantial.
This is informed by the 8 channel exercise, esp, small channel exercise — but also by many others such as taming the tiger.

5. Sink the shoulders and elbows.
This is informed by the 8 channel exercise, but also by many others such as 9 movements of chen style foundation.

6. Use mind and not force.
This is informed by the 8 channel exercise, but also by standing or in brush knee fa li exercise.

7. Upper and lower mutually follow.
This is informed by many but press elbow exercise and single whip/an are good canidates.

8. Inside and outside coordinate.
This is informed by many but especially combined whirl arms exercise.

9. It is mutually joined and unbroken.
This is especially informed by silk reeling jibengong.

10. Seek stillness in movement.
This is informed by many exercises; it has multiple meanings. it could be informed by combined whirl arms, or standing. One aspect is sinking in transition.

Principles vs. Techniques

Posted on By Appledog
Tai Chi and Qigong, as well as all Chinese martial arts, begin training by copying and repeating techniques. Over time, these techniques become internalized and yield what is known as “gong” — the same word as “gong fu” (kung fu). This kung fu is the ability to express the principles of the art physically with your body.
The biggest mistake beginners make is to focus on the art intellectually and to try and understand or rationalize the principles of the art before being able to express them. It is good to understand what the principles are as a roadmap but no amount of “understanding” makes up for “perception”. It can also cause problems if there is a mistake in understanding because the student will miss or resist the correct training results later.

“If you want what I have, then do what I do.”

This teaching is easy to understand and easy to follow. The teacher says, “If you want what I have, then do what I do.” You must copy the teacher’s techniques diligently, precisely and accurately, trust the teacher and be patient to achieve results. This is difficult to understand in the beginning because it can take years to achieve results. So you must find a teacher who is both knowledgeable and virtuous in his conduct and you must follow him for as long as you can.

Diary of a Failure (Part 5)

Posted on By Appledog

This is not a story about just one person, unless you consider that person to be me.

When I first moved to Toronto, I had begun practicing Tai Chi in the park. Various parks downtown. On the second day a man came up to me and said, “Oh, you practice Tai Chi? I saw you walking yesterday, and you looked like a Tai Chi man!” He was an interesting fellow.

One of the places I used to go to practice had a group and it so happened that he sometimes came and practiced with that group. Not all the time, but sometimes. I noticed he would sometimes give corrections to some of the other members. He seemed to be a nice and kind man and to know something about the art. Who is this man? Is he an Angel? Ahh.

Anyways, as the years went by he would often drop in on my practice in the park and chat with me and we became good acquaintances. I didn’t think much of his skills at the time because he seemed to be rather stiff. I had seen him doing some kind of karate before so I knew the root of his issue. In any case, I wasn’t anywhere good enough to even consider teaching others in the group — it was a group of sharing — so I didn’t say anything.

Years went by and at some point we ended up pushing hands, after one of our many fascinating little chats about Tai Chi. Push hands was still new for me at the time, and I didn’t really know what I was doing, even though I had read a lot and been instructed, so to speak, in the basic rules. Suddenly he stepped in and slammed my chest with a double push. I had to hop back, and I must have blushed out of surprise if anything, not really understanding why he did that. I mean, I knew he shouldn’t have done that, but I ignored it and asked for another round. I was even more surprised when he said “no, it’s not worth it,” and he walked away. Yes, I was surprised, but I ignored it. I felt bad if only because I had hoped to find a push hands partner. There wasn’t anyone else really good downtown. The leader of the group was a Chaquan player who wasn’t very good at push hands, and despite my training told me that I was doing his Chaquan set all wrong. Isn’t that suprising? Well, should it even be? Well, I’m not perfect, I guess.

The next day he apologized and I of course forgave him but he seemed to stay away for a while after that.

About a decade later I met him again on one of my training vacations. I visited him in his tea shop. He was easy to find because he was still teaching Tai Chi, just as he had been doing when we met downtown many years ago. I found it interesting that he was an active Tai Chi teacher but I didn’t think much about it other than to grasp it. After a short chat he demonstrated one of the Tai Chi forms he knew. He claimed it was an older set, based on Yang BanHou’s style. It was stiff and karate-like. After the demonstration I asked him about things like internal strength, etc. and he played the secrets card on me. I didn’t know if he was bluffing or he just decided to try and keep secrets from me. In any case we parted amicably and he asked to meet up again in a couple of weeks so I could demonstrate to him the new things I learned from my teacher. Pretty standard really. However, when I tried to call him after the next few weeks, he was hard to get a hold of. Eventually I got a message to stop calling him (I had attempted to call 3 times over three days) and his excuse was that he was a “family man” and did not have so much time to go out and train. Ok, understandable.

Yet I could not help realizing, ultimately, that he had defined himself fully quite a while ago.

He wasn’t a failure. It isn’t that he failed. He never really tried. I had hoped that he was someone who, presenting himself as a Tai Chi teacher, would have more to offer. That somehow, he would have more to share. That he would also be able to appreciate me. I was looking for validation, I was looking for knowledge and teaching, and I was looking for a friend. Ultimately whether he could not or just didn’t want to, he met none of these criteria. I realize that his journey, as real as it was to him, was self-contained. I wish him well, I truly do, but I do not think that we will meet again, as he does not show up to any of the downtown parks anymore. I have not seen him at any local or national events since, either. I wonder how he is doing now.

There are so many smiling and interesting people who disappeared. Where are they? A friend’s mother, who was at the club thirty years ago, I ran into the friend, and found there was a connection. But the mother doesn’t go anymore. Where is everyone?

Everywhere I go, the people are not the same. There are no people. But the wind and the trees are the same. The same sun rising. The same peng bird in the sky. I listen to the wind in the trees for companionship now, because it does not go away.

Tao Te Ching Chapter 36 Commentary

Posted on By Appledog

Bend before breaking,
Weigh before bending,
Enter before Weighing,
and don’t think about seizing;
It’s a subtle insight,
four ounces defeat a thousand pounds.

Like a fish hidden in deep waters,
the final chapter needs not be revealed.

–(Tao Te Ching Chapter 36)

All famous translations I have checked seem to botch this chapter. They give a direct translation, which disjoints the first and second parts of the chapter. Examples abound; Leary, DT Suzuki, Leggae, Lin Yutang, even Red Pine, none of them seem to understand the author’s intention is to convey what the subtle insight is to the reader.

Spoiler alert, the subtle insight is not “the weak defeats the strong”. That is, rather, an effect — or, enabled by — the understanding and application of the subtle insight.

For example, which translation explains the nature of the imagery of the fish in a deep pool of water (not merely in “a pool of water”, but a “deep pool”)? It is like water moved by an unseen fish; the fish cannot leave the pool, but nonetheless it’s effect is seen from outside. I think catching that fish goes a great way towards making a meal out of the subtle insight of Chapter 36. Another harmonious proverb is the story of the doctor who treats people before they get sick.

Here I have rewritten the chapter to apply to traditional martial arts such as Tai Chi, or Aikido, in an attempt to point out this “subtle insight.”

Tao Te Ching Chapter 10 Commentary

Posted on By Appledog

Tai Chi Test!

Instructions: Read and answer the questions. The test begins at 5am and you must turn in your papers between 7am and 7:30am. You must answer all questions fully and you may not leave before the allotted time.

  1. Carrying body and soul and embracing the one, can you avoid separation?
  2. Attending fully and becoming supple, can you be as a newborn babe?
  3. Washing and cleansing the primal vision, can you be without stain?
  4. Loving all men and ruling the country, can you be without cleverness?
  5. Opening and closing the gates of heaven, can you play the role of woman?
  6. Understanding and being open to all things, are you able to do nothing?
  7. Giving birth and nourishing, bearing yet not possessing, working yet not taking credit, leading yet not dominating, this is the primal virtue.

Answer Section

Wait a moment. Number seven isn’t a question! Ahh, so that’s why we have to read them all first. The answer is hidden in the test questions.

So let’s see, what did Sifu teach me? Think back. What would Sifu say about this?

1. In Wuji posture, avoid separation, i.e. into yin and yang. This means relax everything. So you don’t have weight on one leg or another; you don’t have tension in one shoulder or another, both hands are equally relaxed. There is no preference or readiness in your posture, no idea informing directionality. It’s just a relaxation posture.

2. We can let go of our shape, and become like a newborn babe. This will allow us to more easily observe the small. Similar to No. 1.

3. The primal vision is probably the vision which can see the primal unity. It must be without stain. One may not be tired, and one must avoid alcohol, smoking, even coffee and sugar. In our modern life we are simply not as relaxed as in prior generations. So we must take special care to relax and fang song.

4. Trying to win, or trying to impose your will (like, applying a technique) can end up hurting people. Therefore it is better to follow than to lead.

5. In utilization (opening and closing) this would mean in use. We could consider form or push hands. Playing the role of woman is the “asking hand”, the 試應手 (shi4 ying4 shou3); “yose-miru”, or (sorry, wrong word) “yosu-mi”, in Japanese. It is a term from the game of Go (Wei-qi). So instead of initiating upon touch, play the role of the receiver. Ex. in push hands one must play the follower. These are good first steps.

6. Once you have ingrained all eight directions, do not intend to follow any one of them, but allow the direction to emerge on it’s own.

7. It is said then, that it must be flowing and continuous, without breaks, stops or starts. But if this is forced, it is not the best way. For example if one moves in a straight line it is surely because one has overlaid their own mental imagery over their body, placing it into subjugation by the will of the mind, instead of following the natural surroundings.

Overall, we should pay special attention to the principle of mercy and not the principle of cruelness. Be grateful and stand before the teacher and wait, with attention, smile and listen! This way is easier to learn more. Thus only those with good morals will achieve success.

Finding Sifu

Posted on By Appledog

I had joined the Taoist Tai Chi society at Age 16 after a few years of experimenting with meditation and yoga. I had read that Tai Chi was the supreme ultimate martial art. I wanted to be able to defend myself, and I figured that if I learned Tai Chi I would be able to defend myself against bullies, even if they knew another martial art — like Tae Kwon Do, or Karate. In fact I had initially gone to the local Tae Kwon Do school. However, it just did not sit right with me. My heart was set on learning Tai Chi so after the first month I went and joined.

As a matter of fact, some of my father’s co-workers were senior members of the club. This helped me get on the good side of the teachers in the club and I dedicated myself to it. I went to every class.

After the first year I moved to Winnipeg and spent the next two years volunteering in the Winnipeg Taoist Tai Chi Society. I would just go there after school and stay until 8 or 9pm when they closed. I would work at the front desk and when no one was around I would practice Taoist Tai Chi. Although I had avoided weapons forms and workshops until that point (as I was just a poor high school student,) I did try to learn some push hands from the senior members of the club. They were reluctant and showed me something, but with no one to practice and with no real interest from the club that idea died down quickly. I investigated the “Lok Hup” and “Hsing I” and sword forms that the club taught to advanced students, but found them wanting. Frankly, they weren’t very good. I began to feel something missing. I had been told by senior club members by that point that Tai Chi wasn’t really a martial art. I had heard tales of other styles of Tai Chi that had been corrupted, and that only the Taoist Tai Chi society had the real art. I didn’t really understand or accept these statements, being young, but I went with them, being young. But it was when Moy Lin-Shin himself sent a memo to all clubs which was posted to the wall that Taoist Tai Chi was definately not a martial art, and had no martial art in it — that I realized I did not belong in that club. You see what happened was, some schools in Toronto broke away from the Taoist Tai Chi society and Mr. Moy became very angry that his deception had been exposed. He sent out the notice that anyone who practiced any other style of tai chi was to be placed upder suspicion and maybe kicked out of the club. And he was very explicit that it was not a martial art.

Master Steve Higgins wrote an article explaining some of this as the events surrounding all this led to the reformation of the Canadian Taijiquan Federation (link 1) (link 2).

The growth of the CTF in those days was stimulated by the lack of alternatives to the TTCS. Happily, those alternatives exist today. The entire martial arts and Tai Chi landscape has changed. The continuing challenge for the CTF is to adapt to these changes and to continue to serve the needs of the Tai Chi community at large.

Things were a little different in Winnipeg. At least at that time, there was really only the one school of Tai Chi.

Sifu Patrick Kelly

I decided to look up Chinese Kungfu schools in the Yellow Pages. There were two; Temple Knights and the Ching Wu Athletic Association. There was also a Muay Thai club that a friend of mine was interested in, and a Tae Kwon Do school. In those days, Winnipeg only had 600,000 people living in it, so there were not many options. So the choice I made was easy, I went to the Ching Wu Athletic association. The first time I walked in, I saw Sifu David Cliffe practising a form in what you might consider a shuai jiao outfit — kind of like a karate gi on top but with kungfu pants. He told me to come back at a different time because as it turned out it was a holiday (or something) and the school was closed.

When I came back at the appointed time, I was the first one there. And up the stairs came Sifu Patrick Kelly, although I did not know it at the time. He was in a way unassuming and I didn’t realize he was a teacher there. He took me into the front room where there was a desk and I sat opposite him. He asked me why I wanted to learn Kung Fu. I told him I liked Jacky Chan and I wanted to learn how to defend myself. He had a binder with information on different styles. One of them was praying mantis, another was five elders. There may have been a few others. I told him I wanted to learn Tai Chi. He had also asked me if I learned martial arts before, so I told him about my time at the Taoist Tai Chi society. Well by this time other people had started to come in so he asked me to start along with the class. What followed was a pretty standard karate school warmup but then we did wushu line exercises. Kicks, punches, and so forth.

The two forms I was taught were Lohan Shiba Shou — the 18 hands of Lohan, and the Ba Bu Lian Quan — eight step linked fist. I was told these were the two foundation styles of both Eagle Claw and Praying Mantis — and were, overall, excellent beginner kungfu forms. I found the forms challenging but also exhilirating. The requirements of these forms — deep stances, strong endurance and leg strength, power and precision, were at once the same as and also completely unlike the Taoist Tai Chi I had been learning. Over the next several months Sifu Patrick Kelly explained many things to me such as, you must first learn to be hard before you can learn to be soft, lessons about “mothering”, and so on. Many guidance. But the one thing that struck me the greatest is that he expressed the fire of kung fu. There was something about him — something about the way he did his forms — which was special. Apart from others.

Sadly, after only perhaps five months I had to move away for my university. It was a very sad day for me. I won’t forget what he said to me when I left — that it was a pity I had to go because he was just starting to like me. It’s things like this that defined Sifu Patrick Kelly — an uncompromising, almost Killik flair, a precision and a lively energy that shone off of him. I have to this day never met anyone else with the same visible skill as his — except…

In any case, I had made friends at that school and I will always remember those times fondly, even though they are in the past.

The magic begins to fade

After I had left University I went back to visit Ching Wu for a while, but things had changed. They didn’t really teach Kung Fu any more the way they did previously. In fact the people there seemed to have changed their tune and were of the opinion that Kung Fu couldn’t really be used to fight. In stead I was asked to spar with boxing gloves. I did it, but it wasn’t my style, not really. I wanted to go back and continue my education there. But I could not. Also, as I had fallen upon some hard times, I had to give up my practice almost a year earlier. I was not in the best of shape, and when Patrick Kelly came to visit the club, despite my enthusiasm about meeting him and learning again, he was at best lukewarm. It was understandable, as I did not live up to his expectations. I was deflated but not crushed over that. It was more of a push to resolve myself to resume my practice.

Over the next three years I had found myself living in Toronto, struggling to survive as a 19 to 21 year old (or so). I had many adventures in Toronto in those days. I lived in many different places, made many different friends. I had resumed the practice of the two forms Patrick Kelly taught me, and to this day I retain a passing familiarity with them, and will not forget them — but as it turned out I would never meet him again. I do not know what happened to him. And now that I live in Taiwan I have finally given up on contacting him. But, someday, it would be nice to just be able to say thank you. It is important because he was my first real Sifu, if even only for a short time. I recognized his value, somehow, and that had an effect on me which lasted. And for that he does deserve many thanks.

It takes three years to find a master.

I had spent many years touring the Tai Chi clubs of Toronto. Li Lairen, Rising Sun, Andy James, Eddie Wu’s, Ji Hong — you name it — even some other clubs, like Augusta Hung Gar, Hong Luck, and basically everything. If it was taught I visited it. I even rooted out some special gems, like one of Wan Lai-Sheng’s students in Alexandra, and one of Feng’s disciples that was hiding out in Toronto at the time. I even met a monk that did a strange form of internal arts that was like a combination of Sun Style and Chen Style. Never seen it since. But no one ever really struck me as being a match to Patrick Kelly. This doesn’t mean they were not good. In retrospect I might have been better off just going to Eddie Wu’s school — There’s really nothing wrong with that! But it’s just not how things worked out. During this time I spent many long hours in the parks of Chinatown learning from the older generation, following various groups throughout the morning.

I had gotten involved in Taoism and Buddhism as a way to escape my depressing living conditions. I remember attending sunday lunch at the Chinese Buddhist temple near the park, because I did not have any money for food. They gave me some free books. Sutras, I think. I didn’t have a place to live at the time so I couldn’t really keep many things but I held on to those little books for a while. Some of the sutras really appealed to me and were very pretty to read.

I would spend hours in the Toronto Public Library AV section, watching Chinese operas and old martial arts performances. One of my favourites was the 1991 Canadian Taiji and Push Hands tournament which featured a performance by none other than Sifu Patrick Kelly. He was visibly above everyone else on the tape. It was astounding. I would often shed a tear of regret and wonder to myself, “What have I done?” as if all of it was my fault. It probably was, somehow. I could have practiced harder. I could have tried to stay. My life was a failure and I wondered aloud if I had only become a kungfu master instead my life would have been better. My education was a waste. I threw myself into practice even more and would often spend 3 or 4 hours in the park every morning with the seniors. I made progress but it was slow, and there was no one there to really guide me. I fell deeper into depression and almost lost everything.

Life was not working out very well for me. I had managed to graduate Humber College with honors but due to the 1999 tech bubble most people who were applying for the same jobs as I was had many years of experience and I did not. I stuck to my guns about it, and kept a stiff upper lip, but I never did find a job in the computer industry.

Woodgreen Community Center

One day I had heard tale of a Tai Chi instructor in Woodgreen Community Center. Whispers, really. I went to visit and I was utterly astounded. Now, how did I find out? I’m not really sure. It may have been, I was looking for community centers to teach the 24 form in, as a volunteer, as a way to try and build up references for work.

When I went to Woodgreen however, I met two instructors there who had the same if not more energy and liveliness as Sifu Patrick Kelly. They even knew who he was and were fond of him! Apparently he had moved to China and was learning from a master there. Well, that explained why I couldn’t find him.

I recognized the value of what I was being taught but I had a very hard life and I was poor. The fact is I simply could not afford to go to lessons all the time. Nevertheless I practiced hard and within six months I had achieved visible results. Sifu made me demonstrate the form in front of the class but I was mortified with embarrassment so I don’t think I did a good job. But it was experiences like that which defined my time with them. I look back at those days with a certain natsukashiikute — I had spent a long time in the martial arts community of Toronto, visiting various schools — Andy James’ school, Li Lairen’s school, Hong Luck, Augusta Hung Gar, and many others. Finding my sifus was like finally coming home, it was all such a wonderful experience.

Yet, meeting them showed me that in reality I was not yet ready to learn kung fu in the first place.

The Diary of a Failure

In the early years I had tried to learn from Sifu many times and I failed many times because of my karma. Because I was not ready, my life was not ready and needed to be fixed. For a long time I struggled to fix my life. After a long time I was able to return to my Sifus, variously over the years. Finally in 2017 and 2022 I was able to return and finally grasp the most important lessons and to achieve lineage in our family system.

I used to think the most important lesson I was taught was by Patrick Kelly, which is to have the fire to push yourself. Yet now I realize that fixing your life first and taking your time with personal development as well as kung fu development is the greatest lesson. Sometimes, pushing yourself too hard will cause you to hurt yourself. I had never really believed this or understood similar phrases like “reach for the cart before the horse,” but one day I decided that I would accept it even if I did not believe it. It was only then that I realized the truly most important lesson was that I had to fix my life before I would be able to learn kung fu.

Even if you feel sick and horrified that you are not yet good enough, it is no matter, you must relax and take things one step at a time. Panic will not help, it takes time. You can take solace in the idea that walking the road is 99.999% of the art, and as long as you are walking the correct road, does it really matter where you are on it?

“You do not choose a style, you choose a teacher…”

And so I did what I could to just accept the way in which I was taught by my teachers. After so many years, they had made changes to their form. The 20 postures became 24. Moves in Yilu were changed. In fact in the end, I had to learn many things I didn’t want to learn — only to realize later that I actually liked them and to see how helpful they were! It was only when I was able to accept this that I was able to understand everything and make real progress. Not just in Kungfu but in my life. And, I will carry on these important lessons to future generations.

The New Wave

Posted on By Appledog

I am now the 4th generation.

This is both a blessing and a curse.

I never forgot anything my Sifus ever taught me. Even Sifu Patrick. I still remember what he said to me.. “The secret of Tai Chi is…” oh, but I can’t reveal the secrets of course. 🙂

I still remember what he said when I left. I still remember those two forms he taught me. Learning from him and Sifu David was a valuable preparation to my later studies; I remember what he said; ‘When you do the form in front of him, do it his way, and when you do the form in front of me, do it my way.’ This didn’t explain what would happen if both of them were there at the same time, but I didn’t ask. Years later I had the same experience with my sifus. But the different approaches taught me quite a lot about what the form is and how it should be done.

When I think about how famous and important my teachers are, and their teachers before them, and Da Shi Wang, I am somewhat stunned. So instead I just look at it as if through a dream; the magnitude of it does not really affect me. What changed is that I came to understand that Sifu is a real person and not a movie star. This changed my perspective and made me understand that I could do it — I could succeed — that anyone could do it and all they needed was a dream.

I am the 4th generation now. There are others but they are not like me. This is a blessing and a curse. Many of them are more successful than me. Many of them trained with sifus longer than me. Many of them are better than me. But there is something about being last that I am very happy with. When I look at the others and see what they have done, and what they are doing, I wonder. We are all a family, but when is the family reunion? I feel like I want to stand up and say, everyone, let’s have a barbecue at my place! But, I live in China now, so no one would come.

The weight and the responsibility is numbing, but with hard work the load feels lighter and lighter.

It is now my responsibility to pass on and preserve these important traditions. It can be both a blessing and a curse; but one of the most important things my sifus taught me is that I get to choose which one it will become.

The new wave is coming! I am so excited!