The Decreasing Relevance of Online Forums

Posted on By Appledog

When I first began reading and posting on rec.martial-arts in the early 1990s, I saw online forums as a way for martial artists to explore and make sense of Chinese martial arts paradigms, and to connect with like-minded people. I didn’t expect to encounter so many people disillusioned with kung fu itself and who had “moved on” to other things.

As Usenet faded, I moved to other forums: Empty Flower, the Yang Family Tai Chi forum, Kung Fu Magazine forum, and more recently, MartialTalk. Although, I spent the most time on Rumsoaked Fist. There is a lot of good information posted there. Also a lot of garbage. Mostly garbage, by people who are pretending. But in comparison to rec.martial-arts, it’s a goldmine. However by late 2024, things began to change. I couldn’t believe my own eyes, but it became clear to me that AI tools like ChatGPT were being used to fake expertise in arts like Tai Chi. For me this was the last straw.

Of course, there have always been people who pretended to be good at Tai Chi or who misrepresented their martial art as Tai Chi in order to make money. But in this new era, misinformation wa louder, more confident, and more often wrong. Unlike before when people were earnestly trying to understand Tai Chi, today’s voices declare how it works, often contradicting one another. I believe it represents a generational shift. Something fundamental has changed in the community.

Back in the ‘70s and ‘80s, the Kung Fu craze left many disappointed due to a lack of authentic training, which eventually led to the rise of MMA. Many of those disillusioned students became today’s kung-fu skeptics and Chi-deniers. But the Tai Chi generation that followed had its own failure—those who practiced Tai Chi without believing or understanding Chi. This opened the door to distorted theories and false lineages. Groups like Taoist Tai Chi and modern push hands competitors, who often practice something that’s not really Tai Chi at all, are the fruits of what happened, not the cause. I don’t blame them, I pity them.

Today, that confusion is deeper than ever. Fundamental misunderstandings like equating wu wei with passivity, or mistaking mental void for meditation are promoted as wisdom. And forums I once respected have become irrelevant, either inactive or filled with misinformation. Often, the loudest voices are from people practicing something else entirely. Usually someone claiming MMA, hard weight training, or some other valid practice like Reiki, Feldenkrais or Wim Hof trying to pass themselves off as a Tai Chi expert. That’s not to dismiss a other arts; it’s just that Yoga isn’t Tai Chi, and vice versa.

Yes, we all know “fighting matters.” But not every school trains the same way. And now, many who spent decades on a misguided path are realizing they’ve come up empty and they’re looking for someone to blame. The truth? They were told. I was told by my sifu. So why weren’t others? The painful answer is: they were. But they didn’t listen. And today, the people who didn’t listen are the new experts. I fear that this is the last generational mistake before the end. When today’s MMA and progressive weightlifting crowd realizes they’ve failed (give them another 5-10 years) there will be nowhere left for them to turn.

Ultimately, the failure arises out of a lack of Wu De. Wu De is not “being a good person”. It is the code underwriting the internal arts. This is why it is said that the civil must be together with the martial, and it is why it is said that one needs a high level of wu de to learn high level martial arts.

If you care about Tai Chi Kung Fu, and you recognize the importance of Wu De, you will need to study it in order to learn about it. The answer is found in the four books.

There are many sets of “four books”. One is commonly called the Tai Chi classics. I don’t mean that, although you must also read them to understand Tai Chi in general.

I also do not mean just the Tao Te Ching, I Ching, Huangdi Neijing, and Transmission of the Lamp (for which the Blue Cliff Record can substitute in a pinch). Those are excellent books which you must also read in order to get a grounding in the Chinese philosophy which underpins the internal arts. Many people will say that one or more of these books are “must-reads”. Well, sure, they all have great things you can learn which will help your Tai Chi. But they do not teach Wu De.

The four books you are missing, the ones which are really important, are the four books that define Wu De. I’m talking about the Four Books that begin with the Da Xue (Great Learning). This is not Wu De from a dry, critical academic standpoint. It is Wu De in practice, it is practical, and it will directly inform your training.

The Wu De of mǐn (敏): Diligence

Posted on By Appledog

王曰。吾惛、不能進於是矣。願夫子輔吾志、明以教我。我雖不敏、請嘗試之。
The king said: “I am dull-witted, and unable to carry this out. Please help me clarify my will by instructing me. Even though I am not so sharp, I will try to do it.”
(Mencius 1a:7)

Thus we see that mǐn refers to mental diligence (acuity) applied to diligence in undertaking.

子曰：「我非生而知之者，好古，敏以求之者也。」
“Master Kong said: I am not one who was born with knowledge; I love ancient [teaching] and earnestly seek it.” (Analects 7:20)

「道在邇，而求諸遠；事在易，而求諸難。」
“The Way is near, but men seek it afar. It is in easy things, but men seek for it in difficult things. If everyone were to love their relatives and respect their elders, the world would be at peace.” (Mencius 4a:11)

“Therefore it is said, ‘Seek and you will find it; neglect and you will lose it.'” (6a:11)

Mencius means that in the approach of learning, special diligence must be used. Not just the diligence of repeated action, but the diligence of thought. The phrase ‘the way is near, but men seek it afar’ may remind you of a common saying among martial artists regarding those who ‘seek the far but avoid the near’.

Muken no Ken

The story of 無劍の剣 or “The Sword of No Sword” is a story from the life and teachings of Takuan Sōhō.

A young samurai came to a master and asked to be taught the ultimate technique of swordsmanship.

He expected to learn mystical techniques, secret styles, or hidden scrolls of killing. But instead, the master told him to sweep the dojo, fetch water, tend the garden, and watch the clouds.

Days turned to weeks. No sword training.

Eventually the student grew impatient: “Master, I came to learn swordsmanship, not to be your servant.”

The master replied: “You seek the sword in distant things — death, glory, technique — but have not yet mastered the sword of the self. The Way is in the sweeping.”

Seeking the Near

A common mistake among modern martial artists is said to be “reaching for the far but avoiding the near”. This is often taken to mean a lack of physical diligence (勤 qín), but it really just means their minds are elsewhere (i.e. a lack of mǐn). Mǐn is not the same as qín, although they are both forms of diligence. If you have ever heard the phrase “You must put your mind into your movements,” this is the meaning. Tai Chi is a form of moving meditation. You must carefully pay attention to your movements, not to random thoughts or things outside.

In Chinese martial circles, you might hear:

勤能補拙，敏能補慢。
Diligence can make up for clumsiness; agility can make up for slowness.

Qín is consistent effort over time. The ability to show up, rain or shine, and keep training even when progress is slow or invisible. It’s about building the foundation—stances, breathwork, forms, repetition. This is assumed. It’s the mǐn which is the virtue.

Doing the same Silk Reeling or Zhan Zhuang (standing post) daily for years is qín. Practicing calligraphy strokes repeatedly in Confucian study is qín. Memorizing and reciting classical texts by heart is qín. But if one doesn’t deeply consider the meaning of the words, there is a lack of min. Therefore a junzi (君子, gentleman) has both qin (physical diligence) to walk the long road of virtue and knowledge, and mǐn (mental diligence) to respond to life’s changes with wisdom and action.

Martial Mindfulness

The Meaning of mǐn originally is mindfulness. In modern Chinese it appears in words like敏捷 (mǐnjié): agility, 聰敏 (cōngmǐn): clever, quick-witted and 靈敏 (língmǐn): sensitive, perceptive.

「君子欲訥於言而敏於行。」
“The gentleman is slow to speak, but quick in action.” (Analects 1:14)

Zhu Xi comments, “Being careful in speech means not daring to exhaust what one has in excess.”

This shows us the idea of mǐn as a kind of moral responsiveness; a readiness to act when the situation is understood. It’s not rashness, but clarity in action once discernment is complete. This is a kind of quick-thinking without hesitation. During combat it refers to the ability to respond appropriately without needing to mechanically analyze the situation.

“心靜則身敏。”
“When the mind is calm, the body is responsive.”

Mindful stillness enables mǐn.

From Chen Changxing’s 10 points

Be still and calm in both body and mind; even, smooth, and unconcerned – motionless.

Attack as if you were on fire, but if you do not listen you will issue too late.

There is no time to ponder or hesitate, sincerity and spontaneity bring the correct result.

Jin (strength/skill) accumulates day by day, training for a long period of time will bring accomplishment; be persistent in practice and you will understand the method. Training for a long time will bring knowledge, study the underlying principle to understand; ability leads to achievement – this is easy to understand. To advance take one step at a time, be patient, and follow the proper training sequence.

A Story from Yang Chengfu

Master Yang Cheng-Fu, famed for soft and round Tai Chi, was once demonstrating push hands. A student tried to shove him, and Yang stepped aside without tension, lightly redirecting the student’s force. The student fell. When asked how he responded so quickly, he said:

“I do not respond quickly. I listen deeply. The movement happens before my mind decides.” —Yang Cheng-Fu

The importance of min (placing one’s mind in the movements) is not just a virtue but a vital requirement of the martial arts.

Wei Wu Wei

This is a close equivalent to the Taoist concept of Wei Wu Wei. In Chinese martial arts such as Tai Chi, mǐn serves as the underpinning of many skills.
If you are 感覺快 (gǎnjué kuài) you are “quick sensing”. You feel the opponent’s intent through contact (ting jin).
If you have 反應快 (fǎnyìng kuài) you have quick responses. You respond appropriately, not mechanically, but with precision.
This creates 適時快 (shìshí kuài) — timely execution. It is the speed of mǐn, not necessarily the physical speed, which is limited. Yet mental speed can be faster than a flash of lightning.

One Thousand

拳打千遍，其義自見。
“Practice a form a thousand times, and its meaning will reveal itself.”

If one does not have mǐn, one may use qín to gain some understanding. Then one can meditate on the movements. Then the meaning can become instinctive.

Ten Thousand

Chen Xin and his brother learned Taijiquan from their father. At nineteen, Chen Xin entered a martial arts school and practiced Taijiquan ten thousand times a year for twenty years, achieving profound skill. Despite his short stature, he was highly skilled in martial arts, once defeating six or seven county guards in a fight.
One may ask why he practiced so hard? Well as it turns out, Chen Xin’s elder brother, Chen Yao, had also began practicing his boxing forms ten thousand times annually. Despite his modest stature, Chen Yao’s skill was such that he could reportedly throw multiple opponents simultaneously.

Yang Shou-Chung reportedly did his forms 30 times per day, starting at age 7 or 8.

Xie Bingcan (謝炳燦) practiced the Yang long form more than ten times a day for many years, often sleeping only three or four hours per night.

Wang Hai-Jun started his Tai Chi journey at the age of nine. Wang Hai-Jun moved to Chen Village to study under Grandmaster Chen Zhenglei. His daily routine included training a minimum of six hours a day. Because he had to go to school he would wake up early and train from 5:00 to 7:30 a.m., then resuming practice after school for two hours, often adding another two hours in the evening.

Wang Ju-Rong was known to practice for a minimum of six hours every day. Wang Ziping practiced for two hours every morning and evening in addition to his daily teaching commitments.

Feng Zhi-Qiang was known to practice for seven hours in the morning every day, from 4am to 11am.

Chen Fa-Ke was known to be constantly practicing silk reeling movements wherever he was, and was known to have practiced the form for thirty times every day.

 

Special Eyes

手快不如心快，心快不如眼快。
“Fast hands are not as good as a fast mind; a fast mind is not as good as fast eyes.”

There are different kinds of speed:
• 手快 (shǒu kuài) – physical speed,
• 心快 (xīn kuài) – mental readiness
• 眼快 (yǎn kuài) – perceptual awareness

This is the nature of mǐn.

Attaining Min requires Qin (Dilligence) and Xin (Faithfulness)

There is a saying from Chen Village I can share with you.

「不怕慢，就怕站。」
“Don’t be afraid of moving slowly, only be afraid of standing still.”

At face value, màn means slow and zhàn means to stand still, or to stagnate. The saying is encouraging you to keep practicing, even if progress feels slow. What you should fear is inaction, or giving up. This relates to inner progress, not just outer speed. Here, slow movement is “progress”, however slow! And standing still means stagnation. This saying encourages consistency over speed.

With regards to mǐn, you cannot gain mǐn instantly. It develops from long, slow, intentional practice. Sensitivity, timing, and responsiveness are the hallmarks of mǐn and grow not from rushing, but from cultivating precision, clarity, and awareness.
So even if you train slowly, you’re feeding the roots of mǐn. But if you stop training altogether, you sever those roots.

Criticizing Others

Let us not forget “Quick in action, but cautious in speech.” (Analects 1:14).

“The noble person is concerned with their own character. The petty person is concerned with the faults of others.” (Analects 15:21)

In Confucian usage, mindfulness refers to mental alertness, attentiveness to what matters, responsive clarity, and diligent focus on one’s self-cultivation and the self-cultivation of others. Therefore one of the worst things you can do in a discussion is say anything disparaging to another human being.

Rushing to judge others without deep understanding is a failure of mǐn (awareness). It is commonly said, “Judge not, lest ye be judged” and “If you must judge, judge silently — and judge yourself first.”

Common mistakes:
• Attacking somoene personally because you cannot respond to their statement
• To berate beginners for not being of a high standard
• Any blunt criticism of a style or it’s principles simply because your style is different

One should strive to engage with others in a respectful way using measured (mindful) speech. Do not mock others or demonstrate a lack of your own self-cultivation. Showing anger, frivolous uncaring, or distaste to another human being shows that one’s mind is not clear and that one lacks mǐn (thoughtfulness).

Proper Criticism

Proper criticism must always be rooted in the desire to help others. If your goal is not to help someone but to humiliate them, or just pure criticism with no solution (i.e. bashing somene or berating them) then it shows your criticism is not based on mǐn (understanding).

Receiving Criticism

“The Master said, ‘If I examine myself and find that I am not upright, even a simple villager can criticize me; but if I examine myself and find that I am upright, I will not be troubled by others’ criticisms.'” (Analects 7:3)

“The Master said, ‘When you see someone of worth, think of how you may equal them. When you see someone unworthy, examine yourself.'”​ (Analects 4:17)

“The Master said, ‘The gentleman seeks virtue in himself; the small man seeks virtue in others.'” (Analects 15:21)

Mǐn involves remaining diligently attentive to your self-cultivation. Engaging in criticism of others without self-reflection will show a lack of awareness of self. Therefore the first step is, no matter how ridiculous, anti-social, or unwarranted the criticism was, does it contain any grain of truth that you can use to aid in your own cultivation?

In Confucian thought, the emphasis is on internal virtue and self-improvement. Therefore, unwarranted criticism of others can be seen as a diversion from one’s own moral responsibilities, reflecting a deficiency in the diligent application of mǐn.​ If you find another’s criticism is unwarranted, you now have a golden opportunity not to criticize that person in return, but to either respond calmly, demonstrating the virtue of min, or to not respond at all.

Xunzi

Posted on By Appledog

Xunzi, also known as Xun Kuang or Hsün Tzu, was a significant Confucian philosopher who lived during the Warring States period, around 313-238 BCE. Born in the state of Zhao, Xunzi was a contemporary of other notable thinkers such as Mencius. Unlike Mencius, who believed in the inherent goodness of human nature, Xunzi argued that humans are born with a natural inclination towards selfishness and that only through education and the strict application of rituals (li) can people cultivate virtue and achieve moral improvement. His ideas were influential in shaping the development of Confucian thought and had a lasting impact on Chinese philosophy.

Xunzi’s teachings emphasized the importance of education, ritual, and the role of the state in promoting moral order. He believed that human nature, though fundamentally flawed, could be transformed through rigorous education and adherence to ritualistic practices. Xunzi served as a teacher and held various official positions, where he promoted his views on governance and ethics. He wrote extensively, with his works compiled into the book known as the “Xunzi,” which addresses various philosophical, political, and ethical issues. His pragmatic and somewhat pessimistic view of human nature set him apart from other Confucian thinkers and influenced later Legalist thinkers.

One of Xunzi’s notable teaching methods involved conducting his lessons during distracting events such as parades and dances. He believed that true scholars would remain focused and undistracted despite the chaos around them. By teaching in these lively environments, Xunzi could observe which students demonstrated the necessary discipline and concentration to absorb his lessons. Those who maintained their focus and adhered to proper conduct during such distractions were chosen by Xunzi as his students. This method not only helped him identify the most dedicated and serious learners but also instilled in them a deep sense of discipline and moral fortitude, which he deemed essential for personal development and effective governance. This approach underscored his belief in the transformative power of education and the critical role of self-discipline in achieving moral excellence.

Xero Aptos Shoe Review

Posted on By Appledog

I have been using the Xero Aptos shoe in black for the last year and a half, out in the parks almost every day, on both concrete and grass as well as on track, both at school and at the public stadium. According to my watch it’s been over one million steps.

Aptos – Men

I originally purchased the shoe on Amazon. They’re currently sold out, and I don’t have an affiliate link anyways, so I linked to the Xero site. You can buy them from there.

I am a size 11 or 11.5 but I ordered 12s and they fit perfect. I liked the wide toe box. My initial feeling is that they fit better in the toe box than Adidas SM-IIs, and even better than the slip-on AdiLuxe that I liked better than the SM-IIs. Both of which blew feiyue’s out of the water. After over one year of wearing these I classify them as a solid 9/10 for kungfu and maybe an 8/10 for daily wear. Here are my observations:

  • They do not get destroyed by getting wet (even soaking wet) like SM-IIs, but they get a half size looser when they dry out.
  • The sole rubber squeaks on stone and gym floors. This can be annoying at first but I found that it went away after I learned to control my steps. Therefore I found it to be a blessing in the end.
  • The shoes come with a card that advises you to break them in. This means slowly increase the time you wear them each day. I will explain this below:

Plantar Fasciitis Warning

When I got these, I suddenly switched from SM-IIs to the Aptos as a daily wear as well as training. This was a mistake because the shoes have a better connection to the ground than the SM-IIs (and are thus better for kungfu). They allow you to grip the toes with the ground more, and require you to use more muscles in the foot as the sole is not as stiff.

However, the sudden change induced plantar fasciitis that lasted almost an entire year. I don’t know exactly what happened — it could have been the repetitive stress, or it could have been a few accidental heel strikes I wasn’t prepared for (expecting the strike-feel of the old shoes) or if it was b as a result of a. If I could go back in time, I would have tried breaking in the shoes for 20 min a day at first, then moving to 45 min or 1 hour a day after a week, then increasing the time until I got used to them. I don’t know if that would fix the problem, but I am advising you to be careful if this is your first time wearing such close-to-the-ground shoes.

In any case, they felt amazing and comfortable — they had a more comfortable feeling than the SM-IIs or AdiLuxes I had worn for years, and as mentioned they had a better connection to the ground. And now that I am used to them, I love them.

For Indoor and Outdoor use only!

One of the things that really sold me on these shoes, besides their comfort level, was the day it rained in the park when I was out training. They got soaked. However, when they dried out they were totally fine. They were a bit looser (so I put some dr, scholes in them, since I had plantar fasciitis at the time, and it was a perfect fit).

Whereas getting wet usually destroys the sole of a SM-II base shoe, which then requires re-gluing (not a problem, but it should have been made right) these shoes dried out with no apparent damage. I already knew these shoes were going to rate higher than the SM-IIs for outdoor use, but this put them into the category of daily wear.

Now, it might seem a bit strange at times to wear what looks like Chinese Slippers. That perception problem is mainly caused by the cheap garbage-quality cloth soled chinese slippers many people wear in Tai Chi classes. If you are worried about that just get the gray ones instead.

I found it hard to believe, but I found a shoe better than the SM-IIs and even the rare AdiLuxe shoes I used to wear. I’m a convert! Tai Chi, Kung Fu, Concrete, Track, Ground, Field, etc. these are great. Although they really highlight why you should avoid training on concrete. It’s like horseshoes; Horses never needed shoes, until they started walking on roads. So be careful wearing barefoot shoes on hard surfaces. It is doable if you are careful and have great experience training on concrete or asphalt.

Conclusions

These are daily wear, forms and two-man training shoes. Not really a walking shoe or a jogging shoe. Your just going to want something with better cushioning if you plan to walk 10k steps daily. You could do it, but, you need to understand it takes a while to get used to the lack of cushioning on the heel. You will hurt yourself if you just throw these on suddenly and wear them all day.

If your coming from FeiYue’s (7/10) your first major step-up is going to be Adidas Sambas (8/10). I’d put the Onitsuka Tigers in the Sambas category. From there, you want to move towards a barefoot style shoe so you can move into Adidas SM-II (8/10) or the AdiLuxe style (8/10), which I prefer over SM-IIs.

The tradeoff between these is that the SM-IIs and AdiLuxe are not made as well as the Tigers or the Sambas so the heel will separate or wear down very quickly in a daily wear scenario or outdoor use. But, they are much more comfortable than the Sambas or Tigers for training. This tradeoff will make you upset but the solution is the Xero Aptos.

If you are looking for a cheaper alternative you could try the Whitin brand on Amazon. The “Whitin Mens Wide Minimalist Barefoot Sneakers, Zero Drop, Midfoot Stability” are like a cheaper laced version of these. They’re okay, but you get what you pay for. They re like a Samba or a Tiger but a bit more barefoot.

The Xero Aptos solves all of the durability problems with the SM-II/AdiLuxe and includes a wider toe box and a better ground-feel. So far I have not found a better shoe. 9/10.

Taiji Ten Ten

Posted on By Appledog

Taiji Ten Ten

  1. The energy at the top of the head should be light and sensitive
  2. Sink the chest and raise the back
  3. Remains relax with no tensions
  4. Distinguish full from empty
  5. Sink the shoulders and drop the elbows
  6. Use the mind and not strength
  7. Unite the upper and lower body
  8. Unite internal and external
  9. Continuity without interruption
  10. Seek Stillness in movement

1. The head should be upright so the shen (spirit) can reach the headtop.
This is informed by the 8 channel exercise, esp. fire channel and water channel.

2. Sink the chest and pluck up the back.
This is informed by the 8 channel exercize, esp. lung channel.

3. Sung (relax) the waist.
This is informed by the 8 channel exercise, esp. dai channel.

4. Differentiate insubstantial and substantial.
This is informed by the 8 channel exercise, esp, small channel exercise — but also by many others such as taming the tiger.

5. Sink the shoulders and elbows.
This is informed by the 8 channel exercise, but also by many others such as 9 movements of chen style foundation.

6. Use mind and not force.
This is informed by the 8 channel exercise, but also by standing or in brush knee fa li exercise.

7. Upper and lower mutually follow.
This is informed by many but press elbow exercise and single whip/an are good canidates.

8. Inside and outside coordinate.
This is informed by many but especially combined whirl arms exercise.

9. It is mutually joined and unbroken.
This is especially informed by silk reeling jibengong.

10. Seek stillness in movement.
This is informed by many exercises; it has multiple meanings. it could be informed by combined whirl arms, or standing. One aspect is sinking in transition.

Principles vs. Techniques

Posted on By Appledog
Tai Chi and Qigong, as well as all Chinese martial arts, begin training by copying and repeating techniques. Over time, these techniques become internalized and yield what is known as “gong” — the same word as “gong fu” (kung fu). This kung fu is the ability to express the principles of the art physically with your body.
The biggest mistake beginners make is to focus on the art intellectually and to try and understand or rationalize the principles of the art before being able to express them. It is good to understand what the principles are as a roadmap but no amount of “understanding” makes up for “perception”. It can also cause problems if there is a mistake in understanding because the student will miss or resist the correct training results later.

“If you want what I have, then do what I do.”

This teaching is easy to understand and easy to follow. The teacher says, “If you want what I have, then do what I do.” You must copy the teacher’s techniques diligently, precisely and accurately, trust the teacher and be patient to achieve results. This is difficult to understand in the beginning because it can take years to achieve results. So you must find a teacher who is both knowledgeable and virtuous in his conduct and you must follow him for as long as you can.

Is Self-Defense Spiritual?

Posted on By Appledog

In Chinese culture and religion, self-defense can be seen both as a low-tech endeavor (such as farming, fieldwork or bodyguard work) and also, especially in terms of cultivation culture and religion, as a means to bettering one’s self and even to achieve enlightenment. Across Taoism and Buddism we find references to a culture of self-development based around a sort of fusion between yoga, qigong, philosophy, and martial arts.

I think the point should be made that as a sovereign spiritual entity (someone with a soul) it is important to be able to defend your self in the physical plane while still understanding that the other person is a sovereign spiritual entity in the same sense you are. Then, the removal of ego can be accomplished via the drive towards non-violent martial arts and the seeds of enlightenment will have been planted, leading towards the practitioner’s karma being changed by a lifetime of practice.

Another aspect to the removal of violence from defense is the foundation of a society; a society aims to keep it’s population safe. So when engaging in self-defense it is important to avoid cruelty and “excessive violence” whenever possible. The very definition of excessive becomes whatever society allows to seep through the cracks. If someone comes to attack you, this is already a violation of society. You are only allowed to defend yourself because you are able to point to society and say “You failed me;” in any other case your actions, in that they overstep society’s right to protect you for you, are to be seen as excessive.

Tao Te Ching Chapter 36 seems to discuss a type of restraint from violence as in fact the pinnacle of kung fu; “It is better to maim than kill, it is better to break than to maim, it is better to strike than to break, it is better to push than to strike, it is better to throw out (push) than to strike, and the highest level is when the opponent does not feel the action of the push against him.” Heavily paraphrased, of course.

So considering we get a free pass from the ancients and society allows it, does that mean it is truly acceptable for one on the spiritual path to learn self-defense? Is it possible to respond to true violence in a non-violent way?

Diary of a Failure (Part 5)

Posted on By Appledog

This is not a story about just one person, unless you consider that person to be me.

When I first moved to Toronto, I had begun practicing Tai Chi in the park. Various parks downtown. On the second day a man came up to me and said, “Oh, you practice Tai Chi? I saw you walking yesterday, and you looked like a Tai Chi man!” He was an interesting fellow.

One of the places I used to go to practice had a group and it so happened that he sometimes came and practiced with that group. Not all the time, but sometimes. I noticed he would sometimes give corrections to some of the other members. He seemed to be a nice and kind man and to know something about the art. Who is this man? Is he an Angel? Ahh.

Anyways, as the years went by he would often drop in on my practice in the park and chat with me and we became good acquaintances. I didn’t think much of his skills at the time because he seemed to be rather stiff. I had seen him doing some kind of karate before so I knew the root of his issue. In any case, I wasn’t anywhere good enough to even consider teaching others in the group — it was a group of sharing — so I didn’t say anything.

Years went by and at some point we ended up pushing hands, after one of our many fascinating little chats about Tai Chi. Push hands was still new for me at the time, and I didn’t really know what I was doing, even though I had read a lot and been instructed, so to speak, in the basic rules. Suddenly he stepped in and slammed my chest with a double push. I had to hop back, and I must have blushed out of surprise if anything, not really understanding why he did that. I mean, I knew he shouldn’t have done that, but I ignored it and asked for another round. I was even more surprised when he said “no, it’s not worth it,” and he walked away. Yes, I was surprised, but I ignored it. I felt bad if only because I had hoped to find a push hands partner. There wasn’t anyone else really good downtown. The leader of the group was a Chaquan player who wasn’t very good at push hands, and despite my training told me that I was doing his Chaquan set all wrong. Isn’t that suprising? Well, should it even be? Well, I’m not perfect, I guess.

The next day he apologized and I of course forgave him but he seemed to stay away for a while after that.

About a decade later I met him again on one of my training vacations. I visited him in his tea shop. He was easy to find because he was still teaching Tai Chi, just as he had been doing when we met downtown many years ago. I found it interesting that he was an active Tai Chi teacher but I didn’t think much about it other than to grasp it. After a short chat he demonstrated one of the Tai Chi forms he knew. He claimed it was an older set, based on Yang BanHou’s style. It was stiff and karate-like. After the demonstration I asked him about things like internal strength, etc. and he played the secrets card on me. I didn’t know if he was bluffing or he just decided to try and keep secrets from me. In any case we parted amicably and he asked to meet up again in a couple of weeks so I could demonstrate to him the new things I learned from my teacher. Pretty standard really. However, when I tried to call him after the next few weeks, he was hard to get a hold of. Eventually I got a message to stop calling him (I had attempted to call 3 times over three days) and his excuse was that he was a “family man” and did not have so much time to go out and train. Ok, understandable.

Yet I could not help realizing, ultimately, that he had defined himself fully quite a while ago.

He wasn’t a failure. It isn’t that he failed. He never really tried. I had hoped that he was someone who, presenting himself as a Tai Chi teacher, would have more to offer. That somehow, he would have more to share. That he would also be able to appreciate me. I was looking for validation, I was looking for knowledge and teaching, and I was looking for a friend. Ultimately whether he could not or just didn’t want to, he met none of these criteria. I realize that his journey, as real as it was to him, was self-contained. I wish him well, I truly do, but I do not think that we will meet again, as he does not show up to any of the downtown parks anymore. I have not seen him at any local or national events since, either. I wonder how he is doing now.

There are so many smiling and interesting people who disappeared. Where are they? A friend’s mother, who was at the club thirty years ago, I ran into the friend, and found there was a connection. But the mother doesn’t go anymore. Where is everyone?

Everywhere I go, the people are not the same. There are no people. But the wind and the trees are the same. The same sun rising. The same peng bird in the sky. I listen to the wind in the trees for companionship now, because it does not go away.

Tao Te Ching Chapter 36 Commentary

Posted on By Appledog

Bend before breaking,
Weigh before bending,
Enter before Weighing,
and don’t think about seizing;
It’s a subtle insight,
four ounces defeat a thousand pounds.

Like a fish hidden in deep waters,
the final chapter needs not be revealed.

–(Tao Te Ching Chapter 36)

All famous translations I have checked seem to botch this chapter. They give a direct translation, which disjoints the first and second parts of the chapter. Examples abound; Leary, DT Suzuki, Leggae, Lin Yutang, even Red Pine, none of them seem to understand the author’s intention is to convey what the subtle insight is to the reader.

Spoiler alert, the subtle insight is not “the weak defeats the strong”. That is, rather, an effect — or, enabled by — the understanding and application of the subtle insight.

For example, which translation explains the nature of the imagery of the fish in a deep pool of water (not merely in “a pool of water”, but a “deep pool”)? It is like water moved by an unseen fish; the fish cannot leave the pool, but nonetheless it’s effect is seen from outside. I think catching that fish goes a great way towards making a meal out of the subtle insight of Chapter 36. Another harmonious proverb is the story of the doctor who treats people before they get sick.

Here I have rewritten the chapter to apply to traditional martial arts such as Tai Chi, or Aikido, in an attempt to point out this “subtle insight.”